As some of you know, I do not sleep well. I haven’t slept well in 10+ years. There are a million reasons for this. There are rare occasions when I wake in the middle of the night and have a moment of clarity or creativity. I had one of those the other night. It wasn’t even super creative like when you have one of those wild, hallucinogenic fever dreams. It was just something so simple and succinct that came to me as I awoke. A poem. A very simple poem emerged from the darkness.
Lines Written in the Middle of the Night
I love you.
I miss you. Please,
Nothing special about it. Nothing that hasn’t been said 290784978 times in literature. But it all fit. And I could get back to sleep.
Who is it you miss?
Well, that’s a difficult to answer question. I miss a lot of people right now.
Being in NC has been difficult for that exact reason – all of my friends and family are back in Pittsburgh.
I certainly miss my family and, of course, Lenny, the one-ear’d Yorkie. I miss my friends, too, possibly none more than my friend Beth.
The good news is that the school year has once again started and I dedicate A LOT of time to my school and my students. I am able to keep some of the loneliness and sullenness at bay.
I understand. And is this Beth someone special?
Well, that’s a question without an answer, at least now it is. Let’s just put it this way – she’s very special to me and I miss the Hell out of her.
Is she aware of your distant affection?
Oh, yes. It’s a far more complicated situation (not bad, though) than it appears. Not something with which I am upset or anything. Just…complicated.
The short, short answer: Neither being in a particularly good place in life right now. Add in 500+ miles distance on top of some mental issues and other assorted good and plenty, it’s a crap situation.